Holodeck Jesus

Holodeck Jesus Pre-roll and cannabis in a pipe

When I walked into Dancing Goat Gardens, I really wasn’t intending to buy anything – this trip was for Zack. But I have to say, their wall of strains got me. I saw the name “Holodeck Jesus” and immediately got excited before I actually read the description. It turned out to be a great one to try because it’s one of the few terpinolene-dominant strains available. My budtender friend has been recommending terpinolene to me for a while, and I haven’t reviewed a terpinolene dominant strain yet, so let’s dive into it.

Holodeck Jesus information card at Dancing Goat Gardens

Consumption Method: Pre-roll, Pipe, AND Dry Herb Vape (Arizer Solo 2)
Type: Hybrid
Genetics: Chuy Purps x Second Sight
Terpenes: Terpinolene, Myrcene, Caryophyllene
Scent:  Sage, Pine, Pepper, Fresh Herbs
Taste:  Pine, Herbs (sage), Toasty, Mildly Sweet
Feelings: Silly, Creative, Completely Level, Relaxed, Happy, Cooling Sensation
Negative Effects: Munchies at higher dosage

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Terpinolene can create energizing, uplifting, and calming effects. It’s a pretty rare terpene, but high-terpinolene strains tend to be very popular. Think Jack Herer, Dutch Treat, and Golden Goat. It’s also found in apples, nutmeg, cumin, and lilacs. The scent and flavor is very fresh and herbaceous.

How Was the High?

This strain makes everything feel so smooth. I’ve very rarely felt so even-tempered. One thing I struggle with as an autistic person is going with the flow. I just need to know when the flow starts so I can plan . . . to go with the flow. And Jesus, in His Holy Holodeck, helped me be a free-flower. Apologies in advance to Christians, but I did think it was very funny to imagine flying through space with Jesus.

My first time smoking this strain was on the way home from the dispensary (I was not driving, I promise). I had a strawberry refresher and a joint and Zack just drove me around while I smoked. Don’t worry, he got to smoke his goodies as soon as we got home. At first I just felt a little bit at the temples and eyes, then I suddenly felt a sensation in my head like the WHOOMP of the flame when you turn on a gas stove and I realized that I was very high. And oh boy did it feel good. My body felt very calm, but my mind felt very active.

I immediately got silly, doing a weird stoner accent and cracking jokes that probably wouldn’t be funny sober. Even though I was just with my husband, who I feel totally comfortable with, I could see this strain being a good social lubricant. I felt very talkative, and giggly. When we played Jackbox later with friends I had my best round of Tee K.O. ever. It was a very good time.

As we were driving we passed by the farmer’s market, and decided on a whim to check it out. That is very much not a sober Stevie move. It was extremely crowded and loud. Weed Jesus in his Holy Holodeck guided me through that hustle and bustle with zero stress. I’m serious. Zero. I ordered food, I milled about in a crowd, and I felt fucking fantastic. Holodeck Jesus took a very stressful overstimulating place and made it relaxing somehow. I felt very level. Even dodging people who almost ran into me, which normally spikes my anxiety to the max, had zero effect on my mood. No extremes, just pure vibes.

The information card at the dispensary mentioned creativity, and I found that to be true as well. At the farmer’s market I saw some morel mushrooms and fresh greens and planned out a whole meal that was a bit beyond my normal scope with cooking. Luckily I married a chef so Zack was able to listen to my ideas and actually execute them. We cooked the morels in a white wine sauce and served them over steaks with a side salad and smashed crispy potatoes. We even made a homemade shallot vinaigrette for the salad. It was delicious. The Holodeck Jesus even helped me eat it. My normal sensory hang-ups with food didn’t enter my mind at all.

Throughout the week I continued to try Holodeck Jesus in other ways. I dissected my second pre-roll so I could use my Arizer Solo II, and that provided a slightly more even high – less of the sudden WHOOMP and more of a gradual climb. I noticed that when I was just hanging out and not doing much I could feel a cooling sensation deep in my torso and flowing down my shoulders. At smaller doses I was able to get a very nice functional high. This strain is perfect for days when you need to put yourself in stressful or overstimulating situations. It’s also great for when you just want to be in a silly goofy mood and have fun, or create art, or just hang out. It also got rid of a headache for me, which is a huge plus.

TL;DR – Did it Help Manage My Neurodivergence?

Overstimulation: YEAH YEAH YEAH. I was in an extremely loud crowded environment and I felt ZERO STRESS.
Understimulation: YES. It sparked creativity and was a very giggly, silly high
Executive Function: Yes – everything felt pretty fun, even chores
Focusing: Kinda? My focus did shift randomly but I could get stuff done when it was necessary.
Sleep: Ambiguous – this strain is both energizing and calming. The comedown made me sleepy but going to bed high probably wouldn’t help.

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